IRONY ABOUNDS

Defination of the Day 9.2.10

izzle
	A suffix, often used by gangsters, used to cut off a word when one's brain cannot process words with greater than three syllables. "Whack" is an onomatizzle. Curtesy Urban Dictionary

Definition of the Day 9.1.10

zeriara
	a stuck up, self-obsessed asshole, who overcompensates muchly for their obvious insecurity.  this zeriara needs to get the fuck over herself Curtesy: Urban Dictionary

Are you really kidding me??

Is this really a good idea? Have they really seen the urinal section of a mens room? Not that the sinks are much better, but this is just gross. Whats to keep the idiots that like to pee all over the place form peeing all over the sinks as well. Really?

Definition of the Day 8.31.10

Come on, we've all been a victim....

no-motion

1. A promotion without a raise or bonus. 2. During the recession of 2009, employers have embarked on a new trend of giving promotions to employees (e.g. by adding more responsibility to their current position or new job title) but not giving the employee any monetary compensation for it (e.g. no raise, no bonus). My boss gave me a no-motion as I was promoted to VP but still receiving the same pay!

Curtesy Urban Dictionary

Definition of the Day 8.30.10

Tanorexia:

A disease like anorexia, no matter how tan a person is they never think they are tan enough.

Oh my God have you seen Tara Reid lately? She needs to check herself in for treatment of that tanorexia

Curtesy Urban Dictionary

Phrase of the day, We've all know someone like this

Meeting Affective Disorder

A form of boredom that occurs in relation to mandatory meetings, most commonly those centered around a presentation.
Symptoms include difficulty in staying awake, and delirious hallucinations more commonly referred to as daydreams.

Guy 1: I think you have Meeting Affective Disorder, you should see a doctor
Guy 2: Why do you think I have that?
Guy 1: The pool of drool on the table from you dozing off.

Curtesy Urban Dictionary

Definition of the day, Aint it true...

book google

When you need to figure out something, so you look it up in a book, like in the olden times, when dinosaurs ruled the earth.

Guy 1: Quick! What's the definiton of "callow?"

Guy 2: I don't know! My iPhone 4 doesn't get signal here!

Guy 3: Book google that shit!

Fwd: An Airline with a sense of humor-VERY funny

>>
>>
>>
>>
>> See also the comments of flight attendants and crew listed below.
>>
>> Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously.
>> Check out their new livery!
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN'T FLY INTERNATIONALLY - WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOUR - SO TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN.
>>
>> Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johanasburg. Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
>>
>> On a Kulula flight there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want. Passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
>>
>> ----o0o---
>> On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
>>
>> ----o0o---
>>
>> "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."
>>
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> "Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
>>
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
>>
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as Hell everything has shifted."
>>
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> From a Kulula employee: "Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth . To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public Unsupervised."
>>
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask Before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
>>
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."
>>
>> ----o0o---
>>
>> "Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
>>
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
>>
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> From the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
>>
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the Airline's'' fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's' fault, it was the asphalt."
>>
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seat with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our Airplane to the gate!"
>>
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to The terminal."
>>
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking thepassengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
>>
>> ---o0o---
>> After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
>>
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank You folks for flying with us today. And the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."
>>
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> Heard on a Kulula flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
>> ---o0o---
>>
>> A plane was taking off from Durban Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Durban to Cape Town , The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOODNESS!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier.
>> While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger then yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>

Hit The Slide AUGUST 13 To quit one's job in truly stunning fashion. Steven Slater was fed up of working for a--holes, so he hit the slide. Curtesy Urban Dictionary - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Definition of the day

Ineption AUGUST 12 Completely inept at understanding the film, Inception. You don't understand Christopher Nolan's latest masterpiece? Talk about ineption. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Who's coming out to support a good cause?

Come out and help support a great ORGANIZATION by enjoying a great night of music at a great venue. 

TEAM UP PRESENTS GIGS4GOOD FEATURING ALEX MERCIER WITH THICK AS THIEVES AND BEKKER BENEFITING SEATTLE WORKS

Share19

August 19 2010 - 7:00pm

Hard Rock Café
116 Pike Street
Seattle, WA

Team Up for Nonprofits presents Gigs4Good featuring Alex Mercier and Bekker benefiting Seattle Works

Buy Your Tickets: http://bit.ly/SeattleWorks

Come and enjoy some great summer tunes while supporting one of Seattle's favorite nonprofits, Seattle Works, at one of Seattle's most stylish live music venues.

Seattle Works is a group that informs, connects and inspires people in their 20s and 30s to take action in their communities. They facilitated more than 25,000 hours of volunteer service on 220 projects last year alone, and provide tools for people to become active volunteers, informed voters, savvy charitable donors and knowledgeable community leaders. Proceeds from this concert will go to support HandsOn Leadership, a training program designed to teach leadership skills and best practices in volunteer project management.

Alex Mercier is a soulful singer who once aspired to be the next Stevie Ray Vaughn or Pat Metheny. Today, his music blends jazz, blues, rock and pop for a unique sound that’s all his own. The Seattle native has landed songs on several hit T.V. shows, and has a debut album scheduled for release at the end of 2010. He will be joined by opening act Bekker, an acoustic pop/rock band from Seattle with loads of talent and an undeniably infectious sound.

Team Up for Nonprofits is here to connect deserving nonprofits with passionate musicians and offer events that make giving fun and accessible for everyone. Gigs4Good will bring talented bands to the best venues in the city, giving people an exciting way to be part of a worthy cause. With Team Up, you buy the ticket, we bring the music, and nonprofits get the money!

Team Up for Nonprofits Presents Gigs4Good: Benefiting Seattle Works Featuring Alex Mercier with Thick As Thieves and Bekker

Thursday, August 19

Hard Rock Café

116 Pike Street, Seattle WA 98101

Doors 7 p.m., Show 8 p.m.

Tickets $20 Advance, $25 at the Door ($15 Students at the Door)

http://www.facebook.com/merciermusic

http://www.myspace.com/mattbekker

http://www.seattleworks.org

Definition of the day Aug 11, C'mon, we've all been there

leanover
	A small-sized hangover, usually comes with merely a mild headache, a vague fatigue, and little or no sense of regret and/or shame. I didn't really drink that much last night, but I think I've got a leanover. Wtf!

 Curtesy Urban Dictionary

Definition of the day Aug 10

Youtube Attention Span

Your normal attention span only significantly decreased due to Youtube. Whereas normally 10 minutes is a short amount of time, Youtube turns it into a cinematic experience.

Jill: Watch this video!
Jack: Okay.
Jack: wtf? 10 minutes? That's way over my Youtube Attention Span.
Jill: *cries*

Curtesy Urban Dictionary

Definition of the day Aug 9, Hello Monday

HBIC

It's an acronym which stands for:

Head
Bitch
In
Charge

I am the HBIC up in here, bow down bitches

Curtesy: Urban Dictionary 

Todays Featured Definition (But what about Chuck Norris)

Mantor AUGUST 7 A man to whom you as a man aspire towards. The Ideal man. Tom Selleck is my mantor,  Curtesy Urban Dictionary

Definition of the day Aug 6,

Way to be that guy...

job talker

1: Someone who only talks about and has nothing better to talk about than their job.

2: A person that chronically complains about work

I tried to hang out with Jim from accounting last week, the guy is a total job talker. All he did was talk about work for 2 hours.

Curtesy: Urban Dictionary

Team Up Presents Gigs4Good on August 19 - Alex Mercier & Bekker Benefiting Seattle Works

Email not displaying correctly? View it in your browser.

OUR STORY | SPONSORS | FORWARD TO A FRIEND | ABOUT ALEX MERCIER ABOUT SEATTLE WORKS

Team Up Presents Gigs4Good Alex Mercier with Thick As Thieves & Bekker  Benefiting Seattle Works Thursday August.19.2010     7pm - 11pm      The Hard Rock Café     116 Pike St.     Seattle, WA cLICK HERE TO BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW $20 Advance/$25 At the Door/$15 Students at the Door  Come and enjoy great summer tunes while supporting one of Seattle's favorite nonprofits, Seattle Works, at one of Seattle's most stylish live music venues in the city.  Seattle Works is a group that informs, connects and inspires people in their 20s and 30s to take action in their communities. They facilitated more than 25,000 hours of volunteer service on 220 projects last year alone and provide tools for people to become active volunteers, informed voters, savvy charitable donors and knowledgeable community leaders.  Proceeds from this concert will go to support HandsOn Leadership, a training program designed to teach leadership skills and best practices in volunteer project management.   Alex Mercier is a soulful singer who once aspired to be the next Stevie Ray Vaughn or Pat Metheny. Today, his music blends jazz, blues, rock and pop for a unique sound that's all his own. The Seattle native has landed songs on several hit T.V. shows and has a debut album scheduled for release at the end of 2010. He will be joined by opening act Bekker, an acoustic pop/rock band from Seattle with loads of talent and an undeniably infectious sound. Team Up for Nonprofits is here to connect deserving nonprofits with passionate musicians and offer events that make giving fun and accessible for everyone. Gigs4Good will bring talented bands to the best venues in the city, giving people an exciting way to be part of a worthy cause. With Team Up, you buy the ticket, we bring the music, and nonprofits get the money! Future Event TEAM UP PRESENTS GIGS4GOOD: PO' GIRL & JT NERO BENEFITing BIKE WORKS September 16 2010 The Triple Door Seattle, WA Find Us On Facebook   Follow Us On Twitter

<Unsubscribe | Update your profile | Forward to a friend You are receiving this email because you opted in at our website or it was forwarded to you by a friend. If you would like to be added to our mailing list click the following link: http://www.facebook.com/TeamUpForNonprofits?v=app_100265896690345&ref=ts Team Up For Nonprofits Seattle, WA © 2010 Team Up For Non Profits All rights reserved.

Well it's about time Google!!!

Google officially announces multiple account toggling in Gmail

by Andrew Munchbach on August 5th, 2010 at 7:30pm
Filed under: Google13 Comments

Over the past few days, tech sites have been reporting that some Gmail users were seeing a new option in their email web-settings that allowed them to switch between multiple Gmail accounts without logging out. Today, Google has made this new feature official. On the official Gmail Blog, Engineering Director Macduff Hughes wrote: “You can visit google.com/accounts and click the link next to ‘Multiple sign-in.’ After you sign into your first account, you can sign in with up to two additional accounts from the new accounts menu in the upper right hand corner of Gmail, then easily toggle back and forth between them. You can even open multiple Gmail tabs — one for each of your accounts.” The blog does note that not all Google services support multiple account sign-ins yet and that this feature will not work in offline mode or on your mobile device. All things considered, we’re sure this new feature is welcomed by those who are trying to manage multiple Gmail accounts.

Curtesy: Boy Genius Report

Definition of the Day Aug 5

Yahtzee to Nazi

When a person goes from jovial and friendly to furious and belligerent at the flip of a switch.

Mitchell and Robert were about to shag Lena when her sister, Summer, all of the sudden went apeshit then Yahtzee to Nazi on them, thus having shit on Mitchell and Robert's chances to hook up with Lena.

Curtesy Urban Dictionary

Todays Featured Definition

Stall stall

In public bathrooms, the act of remaining in a bathroom stall after having completed one's business, in order to maintain anonymity (whether by avoiding someone who has entered later, or finished sooner), or the state of being delayed under such circumstances. Also the act of delaying defecation until the bathroom is empty. 

Sorry I'm late. I got stall stalled in the men's room on 34 by a couple of accounting assholes talking to each other at the urinals. The last thing I needed was to be asked how my day is going by some idiot with his dick in his hands.

I was in the corner stall trying to drop a deuce when Meyers from accounting walked in. I tried to stall stall but I couldn't hold it.

Curtesy Urban Dictionary

Definition of the Day Aug 2 BTW, Can you believe that it is August already?

Traffic Tetris

When you come to a stoplight and make the conscious decision to avoid getting behind a dumptruck or semi and opt for the lane with 10 vehicles instead of just two so you're sure to move sooner when the light turns green.

Oh no! I got stuck behind the tow truck at the red light. I need to brush up on my "Traffic Tetris" skills

Definition of the day July 30

Reply-None

The opposite of Reply-All, when an email-incompetent person sends you a blank reply to an email you sent them.

I really needed to hear from Felicia on this issue, but all I got was a Reply-None at 4:59.

Curtesy Urban Dictionary 

Definition of the day 7/29

Curtesy of Urban Dictionary: strategic friendship default Occurs when the debt owed from a friendly bet between two friends rises to an uncomfortable level causing one friend to cut ties with the other in lieu of paying up. Robbie: "Did Justin ever make good on that golf wager you two made" Randy: "Wouldn't know, he hasn't talked to me in weeks and he won't return my emails." Robbie: "Sounds like you are the victim of a strategic friendship default." - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Definition of the Day

Curtsey of Urban Dictionary: Eau d'ouche The obnoxious, headache-inducing cologne cloud that surrounds a beefy, tight-Armani-shirt wearing dude. Ugh. Some big meathead just walked by wearing way too much eau d'ouche. I feel like I'm gonna puke. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

iPhone4 Launch Day Humor and Horrors...

This entry takes the cake, I couldn't decide to laugh or cry while reading it myself...

ghhhh horrible day for me. I had been tracking my phone since it was shipped like a hawk. Saw that it had been delivered and signed for, so I called up the ATT store and they said none had been delivered.

So I did what any girl does when her 360 dollar purchase is missing, I freaked. I called fed ex, I printed the delivery confirmation letter, kept calling and harassing ATT. Finally found out the person who signed doesn’t even work at Att, there is NO ONE there by that name.

So I freak out more. Like hyperventilate gunna throw up kinda freaking out. I called fed ex back and they say they will get a description from the driver. Got said description, called ATT back, dude definitely doesn’t work there. So now other customers are calling saying where the hell is my phone, 40+ phones are missing, so now ATT is freaking out.

Im still in contact with ATT and FED EX, Fed EX calls and says they grilled the driver, and he is adamant about dropping it off at the correct address at the cell phone store. So they grill him more, he describes his surrounding when he dropped it off, and turns out he dropped it off at….. wait for it…. FLIPPING VERIZON !!!!!!!!

And the douche that worked at VERIZON signed for over 40 iPhones AND when the manager at ATT went over to pick them up the Verizon dude had opened 3 peoples boxes, and when asked ” dude why the hell didn’t you call us?” His answer was, ” I didn’t have Att’s number.”

WTF, several people should lose their jobs, but i am relieved to say that after a few hours of sheer madness I do have my phone.

___

Apple Store in Temecula, CA. Pre-ordered for delivery from Apple.com on the 15th; got cancelled. Tried everywhere, Apple was the only option. 3:30 AM arrival time, ~ 110 in line for no pre-order. They let us use the store bathroom until 6 AM. At 6:30, started bringing all-you-can-drink Kirkland Signature water (continued for the remainder of the day).

7:30, about 40 dozen donuts. 8:30, gave us free, high-quality umbrellas to battle the sun. 9:45, platters of Togo’s sandwiches. At 12:30, when I was about 20 from the front (yes, it moved THAT SLOW) they told us after explicitly stating earlier in the day that there would be enough phones for everyone in line (350-400, not including pre-orders), that there wouldn’t be enough for most of us. Riot nearly ensued.

Luckily, the manager came out and corrected that and I snagged 2 32GB at 1:45 PM. Almost 11.5 hours in line, and while I regret Apple’s ineptitude regarding the pre-order process, I don’t regret getting it one bit. Here’s to my line-mates!

____

I drove an hour and a half to my nearest apple store. I got there at 11:00 pm on Wednesday about 10mins in line it rained like crazy of course had no umbrella I was 34th in line at this time. After the rain died down most people had left so I became third in line. All was great until around 2:00am when security came they told us because of the location we have to leave the premises at 2:30am or police will be called. Sure enough at 2:30am the cops come and escorted us of the grounds and we were told to come back at 5:00am to start lining up. So I went to the nearest gas station freed my blatter and waited til 3:45am. I drove back by the apple store and saw that the cops left so there was about five people in line so I rushed over and got me a spot. Well the cops were called back so again I had to leave, but this time I went to the back of the parking lot turned off the lights and parked. So after the cops left again people came back lining up. This time it is around 4:20am. I was around 8th inline until for some reason the security moved the line from the front of the store to the side. About 20 people were in front me most of which just showed at and had been there for maybe 10 minutes at the most. Well the line stayed as is up until day broke and it was around 6:00am. This is when Apple employees started to show up as they gave us snacks and water. Well although thing seemed to be looking better the clouds formed and rained even more. This time Apple gave us umbrella, how nice of them. Once the rain stopped again employees began asking us the model of iPhone we want checking inventory on there nefty app or iPod touch. Oh I can smell my iPhone now, yet I was again wrong. Once the door open the employees started to pull in customers. The was two lines, reserves and purchases, I was in purchases. Well the ratio given straight from Apple corp. was 50:1. So as I watch the line for reserves get smaller our line became larger because of people just joining our line. Yes joining our line just walking up and staying. Neither apple nor security did anything. Until we started to rebel and cops had to be called. So the cops came and kicked like five or 6 people out for cutting. It was awesome but we still had to wait for apple until the employees notice we were angry tired and what every else you would be after waiting in line for almost 10 hours. So the ratio changed to about 10:3. Well around 9:45am we started chanted and booing depending who came out with their phone which was really fun for those guys who were cutting. They got booed really bad. After all of this I was finally called into the store meet with praise of employees clapping and cheer such a great feeling. I got my 32gb iPhone 4 and the overprice Black Bumper case. Activated my phone in less than 30 seconds. As I walked out the store the cheers were again present. A perfect way to capped off possible the most agonizing 10 hours I ever faced. So this is my story on how “I survived iPhone released day!’